There's no place like home

After what has seemed like several years, but in reality was only two weeks, I have returned home from my Vipassana meditation course in Massachusetts. Contrary to popular opinion, this was not a retreat or spa, there was no yoga or pampering involved. If I were to write a short, descriptive advertisement for the course, it might go something like this: "Free meditation course. Learn to liberate yourself from misery through 10-days of physical and mental torture. Includes hot showers and two square meals a day."

Here are some of the highlights and key insights I had during the course.

- Itches do not have to be scratched.
- It is surprisingly easy to adjust to rising at 4 am and only eating two meals a day.
- There is NO seated position, however comfortable it may seem at first, that will not be excruciatingly UNcomfortable if maintained without moving for an hour.
- Enlightenment may be available to everyone, but it is certainly prejudiced towards those who do not have allergies or sinus problems.
- Through sheer determination and the fanatical use of a neti-pot, I was able to reclaim the use of my nose as a breathing apparatus, a function it has not served in almost two decades.
- Quieting my mind and focusing my attention on a single goal is a bit like trying to get an entire room of preschoolers to lay down and take naps after they've just been pumped full of sugar.
- Talking actually burns a lot of calories. After 10-days of total silence, a simple conversation is enough to break a sweat.
- Joe was right. I did hate him, but only once or twice every day.
- This too shall pass.
- There's no place like home.

Seriously, it was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I am glad I did it. The potential lessons learned and benefits received will take time to settle in and manifest themselves in the coming days. Whether or not I would ever return to a second such course remains to be seen.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Joe was lucky to survive my absence with no casualties or catastrophes (which always seems to be my experience when he leaves for an extended period). Whereas Lily barely noticed I was gone, Joe says he missed me terribly and Wilson was apparently battling severe depression. I am SO glad to be home. As Joe said, the perfect "vacation" is one that leaves you rested, entertained AND wanting to go home again. :)